The Open-Source, Unisex, Omnisexual Purity Test

This is a fairly long test consisting of two hundred, five hundred, or one thousand questions. It starts out tame and gets progressively worse (or better, depending on your viewpoint). There are many ways of going about taking this test. You can, of course, as your right, guaranteed by the Constitution, be anti-social and sequester yourself in your room and take this test all by yourself; however, we feel that the funnest way to utilize this test is to hold a Purity Test Party. All you need is one copy of the test, and a bunch of friends. (Lots of writing implements and paper would be useful too.)

The person with the copy of the test is the test administrator; [s]he reads the questions aloud and everybody else writes down their answers. We have no definite rules as to whether the participants are required to divulge their answers; that is up to the group to decide. However, each person's purity score should be made common knowledge. (The person with the highest score gets to be giggled at for the rest of his/her life.) This works great at parties and lets everybody know who's easy and who isn't, so you'll know who to go home with. Don't leave home without it.

All questions in this test pertain to events that have happened to you subsequent to your weaning and babyhood/infancy. Anything that may have happened before that time is considered not standing and void.

The term mutual masturbation refers to someone masturbating you AND/OR you masturbating someone else, not exclusively both at the same time.

We would also like to define having sex in the homosexual case. Homosexual sex has occurred when both partners are of the same sex and one of the partners has an orgasm while there is some contact between the genitals of both partners.

We would now like to bring to your attention that there is no passing nor failing score. Therefore, one really shouldn't worry too much about getting a high score... even if you do get giggled at for the rest of your life.

ALL TECHNICALITIES COUNT.

The user of this test acknowledges that sex is a hazardous sport; that a person must copulate in control, and use good judgement at all times; that partners' conditions vary constantly and are greatly affected by weather changes and previous use; and that dirty sheets, variations in terrain and bed surfaces, spouses/pimps/managers, forest growth, rocks and debris, clothed obstacles, and many other natural and man-made obstacles and hazards, including other users and customers, exist throughout the bedroom area. Personal managers (pimps/spouses) and sado-masochistic operations and equipment are constantly in use and may be hazardous to those not copulating in control. Impotence, collisions, and social diseases resulting in injury can happen at any time, even to those copulating in control with proper sexual equipment. Inherent risks are part of the sport and may exist within your partner. As a condition of being permitted to use the facilities of your partner, the user of this test agrees to copulate in control and within the limits of his/her ability, and further acknowledges and accepts these hazards, dangers, and risks and assumes the risk of injury or loss to person or damage to property which might result from use of the partner's facilities.

As a further condition of being permitted to use the facilities of your partner, the customer understands and agrees that:

1. In the event of a transfer of use by another or anything else in the management's opinion is misconduct, misuse, kinky, impotence, or nuisance, this service may be revoked without refund.
2. The partner is the property of the harem and, upon request, [s]he must be presented to any authorized representative of the pimp/spouse.
3. Sexual equipment must be visibly displayed at all times when you are in any bedroom and when approaching the bed to copulate.

Your sexual partner is not transferable; see Theft of Services, V.S.A., sections 2581 and 2582.